A Solitary Existence K, S [PG]

Image courtesy of Paramount and Trekcore
Disclaimer: The characters are Paramount's, their actions are mine.

The silence is deafening.
My mind reels from your loss.
It is profound, it is complete, it is for eternity.
Not even when you prayed on the sands of Gol was it so silent.
Even then, the background hum of our link droned steadily.
I did not ask for a bond brother, but Fate decreed it.
You could not understand my joys in life.
My emotions tainted you and you fled.
I only knew I felt abandoned - a part of me - gone.
V'ger made you realize that life without feeling was just existence.

It is a cruel fate….


Longings, What Lurks in the Forest S/U, K/U [PG]

Image courtesy of Paramount Trekcore and moi

Disclaimer: The characters are Paramount's, their actions are mine.

Summary: How we often we assume that a smooth surface means a calm core.

I observe your posturing before him--a subtle dance of prey versus predator. In him you recognize a thrill. Still, his tawny eyes mesmerize you, almost making you victim before you catch his scent. Yet, you approach me in innocence--never sensing the bigger threat as you frolic with me--thinking me some form of domestic beast rather than the Le-matya I am.

How ironic you flee deep into the King's forest--somehow knowing the noble Knight will not poach against his liege lord. Yet you walk up innocently to this bandit, showing no fear, as I draw my bow….



Longings, Hunting Grounds K/U [PG]

Image courtesy of Fancast
Disclaimer: The characters are Paramount's, their actions are mine.

Summary: When work is better left on the Bridge.

From my position on the Bridge, I watch you, your profile enticing me. You caress my shoulders casually, kneading me into submission as you dictate a message to Starfleet. I am no gender to you on the Bridge, which both flatters and offends me. To you, I just--am.

I've tried to taunt you with my legs - with this uniform that isn't hard to do. I've tried to seduce you with a flutter of my lids, but to no avail.

But the rose you gift to me in the Arboretum tells me I was hunting in all the wrong places... .



Plato's Reprise K/U [PG-13]

Image courtesy of Paramount, Trekcore and moi.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. I just write what my Muse whispers to me for pure entertainment.

Summary: Based on TOS episode ' Plato's Stepchildren' Aftermath of mission from Uhura's POV. Be gentle, this was my very first posted Trek fic.

Uhura sat at her dressing table and brushed her hair. It was still damp from the long, hot shower she had taken in an attempt to ease the tenseness she still felt. It had helped some, but not enough. She finished her hair with a simple braid in back and tucked the end underneath.

Nyota got up and lit the many candles she had placed throughout her cabin. She turned the lights out and let the gentle flickering of the flames soothe her stretched nerves. A soft instrumental, one of her favorites, played in the background as she decided to make herself some tea. She was trying all the tricks to settle her mind. She needed to gather her thoughts and resolve her feelings to what had happened on Platonius. She had dressed in one of her favorite caftans, a flowing sensuous silk -- not transparent, but nearly so. The feel against her skin was both comforting and arousing. Two opposites, like the thoughts that kept coming back into her mind - relief and terror.

The communications officer paced the length of her quarters. Why had she been taken to the planet? The Captain had looked right through her. He had hardly acknowledged she was in his arms. Why, of all that had happened, did his distance bother her the most? She could have been raped. She could have been tortured. In all likelihood, she would have been killed. The Platonians didn't seem to be the type of people who would let you leave.

McCoy had taken both her and Christine to Sickbay for a thorough exam once they beamed aboard. The Captain and Mr. Spock had stayed behind to settle with Parmen and get Alexander's gear. The doctor had called her once, to be sure she was all right and to ensure she had eaten something. He was so kind; his feelings of guilt made it almost unbearable to take his call. Once she had gotten her clearance from McCoy, Uhura had locked herself away within her quarters. She knew it wouldn't be allowed for long, but she intended to take what time she could in order to regain her composure.

Uhura paced again. She could still feel the Captain's hands on her shoulders and her breast; the tenderness coupled with his rage was nearly more than she could stand. She could still taste his lips and feel his warm breath against her skin. Just the memory of his touch made her skin burn. The promise and the terror of more were within each caress.

She hadn't known what the Platonians had subjected them to before she and Christine were beamed down. She hadn't been prepared for the humiliation of being fondled by her captain in front of such an audience. It still seemed more of a dream rather than reality. Of course, Doctor McCoy had told her she was in shock and that he would schedule her some time with the therapist.

She could remember telling the captain that she wasn't afraid, and that was true, she hadn't been. With him she had felt as safe as a child tucked in her father's arms. However, Captain Kirk wasn't her father and being held in his arms had awakened something within herself that she was struggling to comprehend. In all the chaos and turmoil, she had felt - desire. Was she insane? She would have been molested and tortured by the same man if he hadn't been able to wrestle control from Parmen. Was that it? Was it because he had taken control of their situation and beaten Parmen at his own game? Was it the man or his power?

Uhura paced. The answer wasn't simple. The man *was* power. He was her captain, the captain of Starfleet's flagship and the most dynamic personality she had ever met. He was also one of the most handsome men she had ever known. His physical presence was always imposing to her. It had taken months for her to breathe normally when he was on the bridge. It hadn't actually been sexual tension, she could hardly tell if he sensed her at all. Yet, the air crackled with excitement when he was near. She felt it and it was pretty obvious that everyone else, including Spock, felt it too. Was he aware of his affect on others? Surely so - surely he used it to get the best from everyone. Uhura knew she worked at her peak when he was there.

Sometimes, during the lulls of endless star charting shifts, she could feel his gaze upon her - she had even made eye contact once or twice. His hazel eyes would soften and a gentle, almost intimate, smile would fleet across his face before he turned back towards the helm. She often wondered what thoughts had provoked such an expression. In any other man it would be a given, and the captain was definitely a fine specimen of maleness. Yet, he always kept such control of his feelings in regard to the female crew, that Uhura couldn't believe it was desire showing.

She didn't know why she placed him outside the norm. Maybe because he didn't act like the other men onboard. He was intense about everything, his ship, his crew, his friends, and his career. Nothing was done half measure. Uhura thought that being with someone so passionate about everything would burn her to a cinder. She felt like a moth drawn to the flame, but when she felt the heat, she moved back into the darkness - it was safer to be just one of the crew.

And now she had been thrust into the arms of that inferno. She had been made to endure the heat of his touch, and of his eyes. She couldn't get the image of his face out of her mind... His hazel eyes tightening in anger at being unable to control his body. Even as he told her to forget about the Platonians, he had pulled her roughly to him. She could still feel his cheek against her own, the firm grip of his hands upon her shoulders. Yet, as much as he fought the embrace, he had never hurt her; his touch was awkward but tender. She could feel him tremble with effort to control.

Uhura had resolved herself not to fight him. She knew it would just humiliate them both more and possibly escalate the Platonian's actions. She had relaxed in his arms and tried to calm the pounding of her heart. She had known he wouldn't harm her, even if they had proceeded with their tryst. She would give herself to him to try and minimize the degradation. When he had cracked the whip near her face she still had faith he would protect her. Why did she think he would succeed in such a desperate situation? Why did she place him on such a pedestal?

She couldn't answer her own questions. Her door chimed and she nearly jumped out of her skin. Who would be coming by so late unannounced - Doctor McCoy? He probably wanted to see her face to face; to really be sure she was doing as well as one could expect. She was hardly dressed for company, but the doctor had seen her in far less - maybe not in the same situation, but she really didn't feel he would mind.

Uhura palmed the door control and met the visitor just inside the entrance. The captain had been standing outside, leaning a hand against each side of the door. One look at Uhura and he stepped back, straightening his posture almost painfully. It was obvious that he had not stopped since beaming back aboard. The stiffness of his stance couldn't hide the tiredness emanating from his being. Uhura thought he was going to leave, but he seemed to find his resolve and spoke.

"Good evening, Lieutenant. I wonder if I might have a word with you?" His eyes bore into hers and she felt his need to talk.

"Of course, Captain. Please come in."

She backed away from the doorway to allow him entrance. He stepped in and looked around the room. She sensed his unease at the candlelight and soft music. What had been soothing to an individual became sensual in the company of another. Coupling that with the state of her dress, he seemed to draw another conclusion.

"Lieutenant, my pardon. I've intruded in a private moment. Perhaps we can talk later." He moved towards the door, trying to bid a hasty exit.

"Captain, I'm quite alone. Please stay and talk. May I pour you a drink?" She didn't mention that he looked like he could use it. Strange, her thoughts about him had agitated her for hours, but now, his actual presence in her own quarters was comforting.

"Thank you, Lieutenant, I could use a drink." He seemed to have understood her look and realized it was better to acknowledge his discomfort than to ignore it.

"Please have a seat." Uhura urged as she handed the captain a brandy. She picked up her tea and took a seat next to him on her sofa.

He smiled and took a sip of the amber liquid. An appreciative look was cast her way, as the full flavor of the liquor became apparent. Uhura returned the smile. She didn't drink much alcohol, but what she had was some of the best. The bottle had been a gift from a former admirer. She had kept the gift, but lost the admirer. Too bad he hadn't been as fine as his choice of beverage.

Kirk took another sip and sat the glass down, turning to look directly at her.

"Penda, I need to know that you're okay... that we're okay." He reached out and took her hand between both of his. He cradled it gently and looked fiercely into her eyes. He seemed to be trying to read her soul.

'Penda'? He had used her nickname. The captain had never called her that. It shook Uhura to her core - he must be totally at a loss with his actions to be so familiar with her.

"Captain, I'm going to be fine." She didn't lie and say she was there already, but she knew she would be. She squeezed his hand back and smiled shyly at him.

"We *are* fine. I would never blame you for something they did." He held her gaze for what seemed like forever, trying to judge if she was truly sincere or just trying to tell him what he needed to hear. Finally, he deemed she meant what she said and gave a sigh of relief. He released her hand and sipped his brandy.

"I'm thankful you can be so forgiving. I'm not sure I could do the same." He said angrily, staring, as if mesmerized into his glass and so far away...

She watched as he came back to the present, seeming to gather his mantle of command around himself, rising towards the door.

"Captain?" Uhura asked quickly, sensing his desire to leave. "Did Parmen ever say why Christine and I were chosen? I mean, with nearly two hundred female crew - why were we beamed down? We weren't even in the same place when we were summoned." She knew it was bold of her to ask, but considering what they had been through, she thought she was entitled to an answer.

The captain turned back from his near escape out the door - a momentary look of pain and guilt (?) upon his face.

"Parmen said he sought out 'resonant minds', whatever that means. He thought it might 'spice up' the entertainment. Spock seemed to think Parmen linked our minds to yours because of our close daily interaction." His voice was so soft; Uhura had to strain to hear.

It hit her like a subspace flare. The captain was so out of sorts because he thought that his feelings for her had made her a target - not that the sick bastard with the telekinetic powers was to blame. She moved towards him and placed a hand against his cheek, forcing him to meet her eyes.

"Captain, you are not to blame for either of us being down there. If not us then it would have been somebody else. At least Christine and I had presence of mind to keep it together. We *knew* you wouldn't harm us - we had faith in your abilities - "

Kirk's hazel eyes blazed and he grabbed Uhura by the shoulders.

"How could you know? I didn't know if I could stop him! All I can remember is my cracking that whip inches from your face and feeling you tremble in my arms - " He stopped himself, unwilling to go on. He seemed to try and block that memory from his mind by shutting his eyes and trying to turn away, the ugliness of it more than he could bear.

Uhura held on, not letting him retreat into himself. He had never been this open with her. Kirk was a very private person by nature and being the captain made it worse. He wasn't allowed to show doubt of have flaws. But he was human too and Uhura had seen long ago that he was harder on himself for any failing than any other crewmember. She would not let him add this guilt to the other things he blamed himself for.

"Captain, we survived. No one died and no one was hurt beyond repair. We can get through this. We just need to put it behind us and replace the ugly memories with something better." She shook his arm gently, trying to get him to respond.

He opened his eyes and looked down, staring down into her worried face.

"How do you propose we accomplish such a feat, Lieutenant?" He asked warily - doing a fair imitation of their resident Vulcan's climbing brow.

"Well, we could replace our memories of that forced kiss and embrace with something more to our liking..." Uhura replied softly, moving her hand from his shoulder to gently caress his cheek.

She was in uncharted territory and her heart was pounding so hard she knew he had to hear it. She kept her tone and touch light, he hadn't pulled away yet, but he seemed on the verge of bolting for the door. She smiled and batted her eyelashes at him. The, oh so transparent, flirt worked. He smiled and pulled her towards him, running his hands lightly down her arms before encircling her waist.

"And what would be to your liking, Penda?" He asked, leaning down and nuzzling the nape of her neck.

"Oh my - that's a real good suggestion." She whispered back as she arched against him. She felt light headed so close to him, his natural scent intoxicating. He rubbed her back and then stroked the mounds of her hips - intimate but still chaste. He reached up and touched her chin, lifting it towards his face.

"See if you like this suggestion better." His mouth captured hers, gently but insistently, his tongue seeking entrance. She let him in and he took her breath away.

When he finally pulled away and let her think again, she sighed.

"Oh, that was an excellent suggestion. What others do you have?" She was barely able to stand.

Kirk pulled her into a gentle embrace, enfolding her with his arms and kissing her temple as he spoke.

"There are so many, but few I'm allowed to explore. Thank you, Penda, for helping me get a better perspective on this mission." He released her slowly, not seeming to want to let her go, but doing so just the same.

Uhura again felt the heat of the flame and knew it was time for the moth to retreat back to the darkness.

"You're welcome, Captain. I'd say we both needed it." She smiled impishly, but took a step back, setting some distance between them.

"Tonight, I'd say you were right, but it's tomorrow we have to think about." He said with a gentle but serious tone. She couldn't tell if he was really speaking to her or trying to convince himself.

"If you're sure you're okay, I'll go now and turn in myself. It's really been one Hell of a long day." He said with a pointed look as he stepped towards the door.

"I'm fine, Captain, and I want to thank you for coming to check on me. That truly means so much."

Kirk turned back towards Uhura," Goodnight, Penda. Pleasant dreams." Kirk made a face as if to blow out a flame and all but one of Uhura's candles went out. Just the one behind her stayed lit, her body making a lovely silhouette through the silk of her caftan.

"I know I will" Kirk smiled, raising his brows knowingly. "Ah yes, kironide *could* have its purposes...." he sighed in a wistful tone as he left the speechless communications officer standing in the faint glow of her cabin.